hmm....

i dont know what to say... well .. today i have to attend all the sunday service. hoho. morning i play for the P&W and night for all. i always felt bad because im bad in piano. im not a talented and im useless person. i know. everybody is reminding me im weak because nobody trust me to do anything. its kind of big disappointment during the 8am P&W but i think the 10am i played btter. but they're still bad. so hungry because i got no food to eat for today :( i wish i could just leave my house and have my own life.. wishing everybody leave me alone so i dont have to bother so much for everything but i just cant let go. too hard. i saw a description about the horoscope stuff, i dont really believe in it but i guess its true. they say gemini is the hardest to let go of things from their heart. maybe one day ill dissapear from all people when i can't handle it.. for the truth and im sure that.. i dont care what people think about me.. sometimes i just saying that what would they think.. and then i'll felt horrible in me... because thats the way i live in me.. C: the 1 i hate caring me for too much and the 1 i love dont even bother to do so. so sometimes my life really disappoint me somehow. btw,readers, if you understand what im saying im giving you a clap because im mixing everything up so that nobody knows what really actually happen. i know you(readers),you dont care too but just mentioning this and hope the feeling inside me will go but they never did. so i have to bear it. and suffer. and . playing game with my mind. well its a game with no player. nothing much. thats all.