我知道，我从来不被重视过，因为我的存在本来就是多余的。My life disappoints me very much.. Its not an option to me... so i wasn't hoping that much sometimes... I don't feel like its home here... It seems so unknown to me... I don't recognize who am i anymore... It seems like everything i do is wrong. FUCKING WRONG. I don't why, i don't what, i don't know how, i dont know any shit. No matter who's fault, its always blamed on me. No matter. Never did. Well it doesn't matter right now, aren't they? No matter what i want, i'll never get it. No matter what they ask, they always get it. I was only using the leftover, and being asked to wait. WHY. Can you tell me? I wish i was older so that i can depend on my own and leave the house.. very much.. There's no reason of why i should be staying here. Not a reason at all. So why would i bother to do so?
OK. cut that off. Lazy to talk about that. now let's count. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ... wait no there's left than 5 now. well i dont even know if its more than 3. I really don't. know. One's behind there's always one stabbing their back.. *STAB STAB STAB*.. i know. The 1 i used to trust, did that to me. I don't know if i should go on and trust you. You told me nothing, I told you everything to protect you. What did i get back in return? BETRAYED. fuck. I was just like a fool, he told me, i told you, you told him. heck. shit. You said you trusted me, but i don't think you ever did so.
For the 1 i really trust, and the closest with me now is yue. thanks. 你昨天说你真心对朋友不会说麻烦，但我怕我自己会得寸进尺，便成和别人一样。我也一样真心的在对你~所以不想麻烦你.. 每次麻烦你我自己也很不好意思。说真的我也不知道自己在写什么,心里很乱。:D 还想和你的爱人说对不起~这是我第二次伤到爱人T.T 有坏掉的话请跟我讲 D: 虽然我不知道你会不会来看我的blog，最多写给自己看。:D
Sigh. Now. Exam. No exam mood. = = Maybe because last night i had fun taking photos~ Thanks yue for teaching me new stuff~ at least today's english went well... still sorry for the cameraa... worry for other subjects but dont feel like studying.. i take them too easy now.. this is not good.. but I can't help myself... temptation of online-ing....and i don't have the mood to study now...well.. I was wondering why my leg keep pain... now got 1 other place pain probably because i walked too much yesterday?well that part i keep feel like my bone is cracking but now pain? please get well there. The old injury is okay but not new. They said today is the judgement day. 21/5. But I never believed so. Cause i believed in god, i dont believe in human's shit. Well we all know that day is coming.. but sometimes i wish it is now.. sometimes i wish i would have enough time for it.. theres alot thing on the bloody earth i haven do yet. Can't die. I want to die, but not now..
Patching SA.. Vampire mode that i have been longing for..... patching failed.. so i have to delete and reinstall.... Luckily i keep the installer.. or else can't play again.... I was wondering why they create a patch download for maple but not for SA? if we delete SA have to delete the whole thing, and redownload the whole shit =.= its too slow. Not working for my line. I tried and i have to wait 14 days to download it? = = well this reminds me of Hastin helping me last time... thanks C:
Hm.... time sure flies... its 3pm :( how good if we can control the time... deciding when we want it to be fast or slow..... I got the sudden feeling of making a movie trailer.. but i dont know what to do.. ha. bored. editting songs? no. not in the right mood. Just wish time could slow down and leave me alone.
Lastly,
If you bother, then please care more for me. If you don't bother, please don't bother and give me hopes at all. If only you could understand how much disappointment i felt. So I just keep remind myself.. I was lucky to be born, not born to be lucky. So I can't expect that much. Since I don't deserve it too.Now lets call it a day, shall we? C: Updating soon while i have time.
Patching SA.. Vampire mode that i have been longing for..... patching failed.. so i have to delete and reinstall.... Luckily i keep the installer.. or else can't play again.... I was wondering why they create a patch download for maple but not for SA? if we delete SA have to delete the whole thing, and redownload the whole shit =.= its too slow. Not working for my line. I tried and i have to wait 14 days to download it? = = well this reminds me of Hastin helping me last time... thanks C:
Hm.... time sure flies... its 3pm :( how good if we can control the time... deciding when we want it to be fast or slow..... I got the sudden feeling of making a movie trailer.. but i dont know what to do.. ha. bored. editting songs? no. not in the right mood. Just wish time could slow down and leave me alone.
Lastly,
If you bother, then please care more for me. If you don't bother, please don't bother and give me hopes at all. If only you could understand how much disappointment i felt. So I just keep remind myself.. I was lucky to be born, not born to be lucky. So I can't expect that much. Since I don't deserve it too.Now lets call it a day, shall we? C: Updating soon while i have time.
1 comment:
hey,
You still got me. =D
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