春泥

漫天的话语 纷乱落在耳际 你我沉默不回应..
牵你的手 我却哭红了眼睛 路途漫长无止尽...
多想提起勇气 好好的呵护你 ...
不让你受委屈 苦也愿意...

迷雾散尽 一切终于变清晰 爱与痛都成回忆...
遗忘过去 繁花灿烂在天际 等待已有了结局...
我会提起勇气 好好地呵护你....
不让你受委屈　苦也愿意...

漫天纷飞的花语 落在春的泥土里...　

那些痛的记忆 落在春的泥土里...　
滋养了大地 开出下一个花季..
风中你的泪滴 滴滴落在回忆里....
让我们取名叫做珍惜... 让我们懂得学会珍惜...

无效了。迷路了。

     好像无效了。:/ 些东西发泄不了了。C: 我能做什么？每天只能忍．．．忍到我想发泄有时候都不知怎样。＝＝　只能对自己发泄。:D 很累.. 心很碎。不知要怎样形容。还是一样，很想打破镜... 看着血流.... :D
     我知道，我从来不被重视过，因为我的存在本来就是多余的。My life disappoints me very much.. Its not an option to me... so i wasn't hoping that much sometimes... I don't feel like its home here... It seems so unknown to me... I don't recognize who am i anymore... It seems like everything i do is wrong. FUCKING WRONG. I don't why, i don't what, i don't know how, i dont know any shit. No matter who's fault, its always blamed on me. No matter. Never did. Well it doesn't matter right now, aren't they? No matter what i want, i'll never get it. No matter what they ask, they always get it. I was only using the leftover, and being asked to wait. WHY. Can you tell me? I wish i was older so that i can depend on my own and leave the house.. very much.. There's no reason of why i should be staying here. Not a reason at all. So why would i bother to do so?
     OK. cut that off. Lazy to talk about that. now let's count. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ... wait no there's left than 5 now. well i dont even know if its more than 3. I really don't. know. One's behind there's always one stabbing their back.. *STAB STAB STAB*.. i know. The 1 i used to trust, did that to me. I don't know if i should go on and trust you. You told me nothing, I told you everything to protect you. What did i get back in return? BETRAYED. fuck. I was just like a fool, he told me, i told you, you told him. heck. shit. You said you trusted me, but i don't think you ever did so.
     For the 1 i really trust, and the closest with me now is yue. thanks. 你昨天说你真心对朋友不会说麻烦，但我怕我自己会得寸进尺，便成和别人一样。我也一样真心的在对你~所以不想麻烦你.. 每次麻烦你我自己也很不好意思。说真的我也不知道自己在写什么,心里很乱。:D 还想和你的爱人说对不起~这是我第二次伤到爱人T.T 有坏掉的话请跟我讲 D: 虽然我不知道你会不会来看我的blog，最多写给自己看。:D 

     Sigh. Now. Exam. No exam mood. = = Maybe because last night i had fun taking photos~ Thanks yue for teaching me new stuff~ at least today's english went well... still sorry for the cameraa... worry for other subjects but dont feel like studying.. i take them too easy now.. this is not good.. but I can't help myself... temptation of online-ing....and i don't have the mood to study now...well.. I was wondering why my leg keep pain... now got 1 other place pain probably because i walked too much yesterday?well that part i keep feel like my bone is cracking but now pain? please get well there. The old injury is okay but not new. They said today is the judgement day. 21/5. But I never believed so. Cause i believed in god, i dont believe in human's shit. Well we all know that day is coming.. but sometimes i wish it is now.. sometimes i wish i would have enough time for it.. theres alot thing on the bloody earth i haven do yet. Can't die. I want to die, but not now..
     Patching SA.. Vampire mode that i have been longing for..... patching failed.. so i have to delete and reinstall.... Luckily i keep the installer.. or else can't play again.... I was wondering why they create a patch download for maple but not for SA? if we delete SA have to delete the whole thing, and redownload the whole shit =.= its too slow. Not working for my line. I tried and i have to wait 14 days to download it? = = well this reminds me of Hastin helping me last time... thanks C:
     Hm.... time sure flies... its 3pm :( how good if we can control the time... deciding when we want it to be fast or slow..... I got the sudden feeling of making a movie trailer.. but i dont know what to do.. ha. bored. editting songs? no. not in the right mood. Just wish time could slow down and leave me alone. 
Lastly,     
     If you bother, then please care more for me. If you don't bother, please don't bother and give me hopes at all. If only you could understand how much disappointment i felt. So I just keep remind myself.. I was lucky to be born, not born to be lucky. So I can't expect that much. Since I don't deserve it too.Now lets call it a day, shall we? C: Updating soon while i have time. 

有些人一直没机会见，等有机会见了，却又犹豫了，相见不如不见。

有些事一别竟是一辈子，一直没机会做，等有机会了，却不想再做了。

有些话埋藏在心中好久，没机会说，等有机会说的时候，却说不出口了。

有些爱一直没机会爱，等有机会了，已经不爱了。

有些人是有很多机会相见的，却总找借口推脱，想见的时候已经没机会了。

有些事是有很多机会去做的，却一天一天推迟，想做的时候却发现没机会了。

有些爱给了你很多机会，却不在意、不在乎，想重视的时候已经没机会爱了。

人生有时候，总是很讽刺。一转身可能就是一世。 ..... </3 

生病了？:D

     haha~ 今天一整天很冷！！头很重~一点点痛~ 喉咙昨天就不舒服了~ 鼻涕一直流，我又吸回去(很肮脏我知道） XD 一直打喷嚏！ 咳嗽！！ *coughcoughcough*!! *sneeze*  希望它可以严重一点，就不用去学校了 X）
     今天，在学校过得很好。没有人理我，朋友很现实~ 所以过得很平静~很舒服~ ... 我看清楚了，原来我唯一相信的，其实超现实，也会出卖我。所以，在学校，任何一个人都不能相信。C:
     下午做功课很像做到要昏酱，当我没去睡觉。因为我说过，睡觉，很浪费时间。然后撑到晚上，online及做project~ 很累，鼻子超烦！D:<！　我偏不要喝水，开始没胃口～　看你怎么样！:D
 今天的结论：
To: 在学校非常现实的每一个人~

我已对你们失去信任，望着你，慢慢忘记你！ C: 

To：我亲爱的朋友~

我以后也会慢慢的离开 C: ~ 请你记得我~ 
如果难过，就忘了我吧~ (月~俐~芮~dearie~)  

     
     当然，在给我里两分钟，让我把回忆结成冰... 因为我知道哪些美好的回忆，将会一闪而过.. 再也回不来.... 

Eileen,还是一样，思念着你，等着你回来！:)

就此，我也又回到同样的角落，画圈圈，*emo 直到我睡觉* :)  ♥

I'm lost, always.

这第一名到底要多強？

到底还要过多少关？

我不想　就这样一直走每天都遇上 充滿敵意那种眼光...

這目的很好笑　我其實都知道　你只是想炫耀..

为什么这么简单我做不到？... 为什么这种速度我还追不到？...

为什么这么简单我做不到？... 为什么这种速度我还追不到？...

我永远做不到!!! 你永远贏不了！！！我永远做不到！！！你永远贏不了，永远都贏不了！！！！！

我 走鄉下 寻找哪有花香 ...坐車廂 朝著南下方向... 鸟飛翔 穿過这條小巷... 仔细想 這种生活安详... 

悲伤 绝望 迟钝 愚昧

自怨 卑劣 崩溃 忽略

我 呆在电脑已经15小时，将近16。从早等你回复，因为我觉得我说错话。然后东西讲到不明不白，昨晚又突然间睡着，不知干嘛...... ._.  睡觉... 很浪费时间... 打算2点起来，不知干嘛按了,alarm,连message响也没听到，超失败。只想和你说对不起，也许昨晚让你等了，不知要写什么，脑袋很空白，很对不起.. 囧 等你有空私底下再聊～

     I'm a hypocrite~ That's what you think. Maybe it is the facts too:3 人很像每次不知实事乱乱讲，既然你们那么爱讲，我就来当那个黑人！我不介意~ play dumb dumb~ 继续和你玩~ ^^ 但我也很想跟你说，你们几时帮过我？ 我不曾从你们那里得过什么，因为我习惯一人生活~ 但当你们需要我, 就来跟我要？我不给，你们又讲？随便你们！:D 无事不登三宝殿！~ 我也很想先说明，我不需要你们，请不用理我。 我很自私,我很笨！ 你理那么多干嘛？:D  

当然，我很爱facebook，等到有一天，我的facebook没有动，或消失了，这很明显代表有问题　:D 应该不会做傻事～只是在虐待自己～！ 那时候就等你自己来发现吧～　是时候关了，１６个小时，是该停了。

我又倒回去我最喜爱的黑暗角落，画圈圈．．．　＊EMO＊ 

...

难过是因为闷了很久.. 是因为想了太多... 是心理起了作用.. 
不想太多.. 我想一定是我听错弄错搞错... 
拜托我想是你的脑袋有问题.. 随便说说... 
其实我早已经猜透看透不想多说... 只是我怕眼泪撑不住!
不懂你的黑色幽默... 想通却又再考倒我... 
说散你想很久了吧... 我不想拆穿你...
当作是你开的玩笑... 想通却又再考倒我... 
说散你想很久了吧... 败给你的黑色幽默..

我的认真... 败给黑色幽默！