kimi ga subete

才離開沒多久就開始　擔心今天的妳過得好不好
整個畫面是妳　想妳想的睡不著

嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣　還有在妳身上香香的味道
我的快樂是妳　想妳想的都會笑

沒有妳在我有多難熬(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)

穿過雲層　我試著努力向妳奔跑
愛才送到　妳卻已在別人懷抱

就是開不了口　讓她知道
我一定會呵護著妳　也逗妳笑
妳對我有多重要　我後悔沒　讓妳知道
安靜的聽妳撒嬌　看妳睡著　一直到老

就是開不了口　讓她知道
就是那麼簡單幾句　我辦不到
整顆心懸在半空　我只能夠　遠遠看著

I suck at everything

you cant keep expect people to care for you
its very selfish to wait for people to reach out their hand to you
well i dont expect someone like me to be seen too

sometimes im fine, but my mood changed suddenly
when i see the things i dont like
i tried to be much happier, but i get fed up easily when i just get over the thing i wanna get over
and i see the same thing happening again, it just makes me falling much deeper

im confused
really.
i dont know what to do
i wanna be good and wanna be bad too
teach me what to do



寂靜無聲的我 還能夠說什麼
眼神憔悴脆弱 用煙熏妝來蓋過

我用盡了力氣 想要留住你 你卻沒會意
你的堅持讓我最後不得不放棄
看進我眼裡 黑色的眼淚流著不停
你說你從不信 從來不在意 假裝的生氣
我恨這樣才能抓住你的注意力
女生的哭泣 它是常被誤會的心機
對不起 其實你對我不熟悉
我答應你 自由我從此給你

躲進你的生活　想估據某角落
但愈小的異國　愈容易遭到封鎖

有誰想要了解 心如刀割的感覺

看不见你的笑要我怎么睡得着

你的声音这么近我却抱不到 

我喜欢你那握着我的双手

感觉好温暖

和你悄悄对我说过的话

而你双手能握多久

就请你握多久

就一直这样持续下去

虽然当时不是听得很清楚，怪我耳朵 XD

kimi ga subete :) 

I thought I was special to you

I thought I was special to you. 

I really thought so.

又留在夕陽裡 想念的心依然沒變
我是傻的可以 等你的心依然沒變

很想知道你怎麼看我 很酷很正還是很瞎很瘋?....
越矛盾的人越需要認同 所以你微笑點頭的時候 我哭了......

很想知道你怎麼看我.... 敢愛敢恨還是言不由衷?..
越在乎的人越害怕落空.. 所以我說沒關係的時候....
心 很 痛 .......

明知你们是不变的定律

But I just cant stop lying to myself..

I know I'm not her

可见在你心里 她 比我还要重要

耳邊是你平靜的聲音

最安慰最鎮痛的聲音

可一片憂鬱誰能聽得清

這一刻你在哪裡

我們都只是自己眼裡

那一群一個樣的螞蟻

哪一隻消失誰真的在意

世界也沒有什麼差異

呼不呼吸只是 一種形式

存不存在只是 一種意識

看不看得見你 碰不碰得到你

有什麼關係

你出不出現只是 一種証明
存不存在只是 一種感應

聽不聽得到你 抱不抱得到你

有什麼分別 有什麼分別 沒什麼分別

我終於認出你的聲音
記憶裡最溫柔的聲音

我無法控制眼淚滴答滴

你原來沒離開我心裡

"被欺騙的人，到底是幸福還是可憐？

選擇說謊，是因為他傷害了你卻不想你承受傷害。

這好像是在乎你，想要補救或保護的表現。

可是如果真的在乎你想要保護你，他又怎麼會說謊呢？

我應該慶幸你還會騙我，

還是憂傷原來連你也會騙我？"

如果說了太多 請你別再閃躲
那尷尬的笑容 會讓我更難過
就算只是朋友 你能不能夠直話直說 讓我懂

不要看著我 天真的說
現在的你是多麼脆弱
這樣諷刺 求救 原來最痛

我不敢哭 因為我不想認輸
你的心為她守護 我比誰都清楚
我不敢哭 或許也是種認輸
愛你卻說不出 就當作祝福

當初熾熱的心　早已沉沒
說什麼你愛我　如果騙我　我寧願你沉默

誰叫醒我 說這是夢 說你和她 什麼都還沒有

只不过是永远一个人的世界.......................... 没什么大不了
我会好起来的
这些很快就会过去了

我知道那个人永远不会是我

"There is a lot of times, a lot of people are beside you. Yet you seems to focus on the people that are not beside and miss out those you are with. End up losing both."

当时，你很想和她1在一起，可是她1却在别人旁，而忘了在你另一旁是她2，
现在，你很想和她2在一起，可是她2也在别人旁，可是翻开-回忆-，她2却在身旁
只是当时不懂得珍惜，结果两边都失去了.....

那... 是该高兴.... 还是....？

如果你只能拨一通电话，你会拨给谁?

我想... 那个人肯定不是我，对吧？

（我对自己傻笑，也觉得自己很可笑）

Who Am I???

我凭什么？！

明知道你们是不变的定律，I should stop lying to myself, and be contented to what I have

Instead of asking more, that wasn't even suppose to be mine

我害怕故事走不到一半 你心裡早就已經有了答案
我不過問 只是彼此 的心被捆綁
連沈默时都真的很痛很痛.........

我嫉妒妳的愛　氣勢如虹..
像個人氣高居不下的天后....
你要的不是我　而是一種虛榮...
有人疼才顯得多麼出眾... :/

我陷入盲目狂戀的寬容..
成全了妳萬眾寵愛的天后....

我沒有瘋 我只是很難過   我沒有瘋 我只是很脆弱  
就算再痛 我也會讓我們自由  這才是我 一個坦白的我 
時間走過 我只是還難過   我不想留 這傷口還在痛  
我沒有瘋 是當初忘記了喊痛  怎麼不懂 我只是沒有說
都沒有說 都沒有說...... 

让心跳停了 时间就会暂停
想告诉你我只会跟你到这里
让大雨淋湿我 不会再有像童话般的清醒
让心跳停了 我们就到这里....
我们本来就不该会有会结局...
我静静的换气 瞬间失去了力气.....

我想著你　可是你卻不讓我靠近
多希望在這個季節裡　還有你 時間就停止在這裡

還要多久　我才能夠在妳身邊　等到放晴那天　也許我會比較好一點
從前從前　有個人愛妳很久　但偏偏　雨漸漸　把距離吹得好遠
好不容易　又能再多愛一天　但故事的最後妳好像還是說了拜拜

反正你早就想离开我，原来你假装很爱我..... 那么久

明知道 你只是 我应该 忘记的人~ .....

你会不会觉得，“只可惜因为我不是她？”

我知道那个人永远不会是我...

My Wishlist

Am I even asking too much sometimes? I wonder.
But I want those stuff badly XD
Well, my recently wishlist:

First of all, I want a new phone. I need a new phone badly. I never buy a phone, okay? lols . My current phone was from the floor XD the previous 1 was my brother's. Now I needed a smart phone? well, if I wanted the internet plan, its kinda expensive. So overall I'm still thinking about it.

Next, I need a new speaker. Gosh, I cannot stand the sound of music if its horrible. I can't stand the lousy quality it gave me, like my current speaker == they are old, like 10 years ago, well better than nothing. I got no choice but to use them temporarily now. At least I still can do something about it with my iTunes on the equalizer. I wanted a new speaker badly, so that I can enjoy music, and listen to every sound... and some surdof.

And.... I want a world map. I've wanted this for a long time, but I show no action. Until recently, I was like, longing for 1 ? lol I even walk to shops to find it. but it was so expensive, like rm 99.00 = = I can't afford that much, cause I'm saving the money to buy something XD I'll tell about it next. I don't know what caught me into the world map thingy, but for now I just like to know where are the locations ... and i think its interesting? I wanted a world map, with all the labels of country, yeah. So I can know clearly where is it.

I want money! LOL. I want money, to buy the shirt, pants and a t-shirt I want. Its a brand from Taiwan, and the design just simply caught my heart? But its soooooooooo expensive! I also wanted money to buy presents for people. I'm broke, lol. Really broke.

Jing's album is releasing too :( I must get the album! Support original disc! Say NO to pirated CD-s . XD I got jing's book, well. the book got 2 cover. I felt like having both of them, but I should say no to that, cause its really wasting ==

Ok. I always liked music. I love music so much. Besides piano, I mean I gave up buying a new piano. Its unnecessary. I'll buy a grand piano when I have my own house next time~ and not to forget, my music room :D Back to topic, I wanted to buy cello and violin. Where am I suppose to get money for that lol I always wanted to learn violin since I was small, but I think mum not allow? Cause I'm tired of piano that time. She say I might get bored of violin too. Now I'm caught by cello too == because of a drama, I love the sound of cello so much. And I think violin and cello could make a great combination! I could play them, record them, and combine them into a video, hehe. I don't have money to buy all those D: Despite of these string instrument, If I'm rich, I'm gonna get myself brand new guitar. I'm sick of my old guitar. It sounds so.... = = I love GIBSON <3 I want GIBSON! Acoustic and Electric, and its going to cost a lot :D Not to deny that, the best guitarist in the world also uses GIBSON :P Of course I'm not caught by GIBSON that way. It was Tom who inspired me to play guitar, and i love the brand Gibson because of..... the shape... the sound... everything? hahaha...

Oh ya, I also wanted a new sunglasses. I like sunglasses somehow. I mean theres a shape that I want. Just that I do not have enough money to get it. I also want another new wallet. My wallet is broken == I think I put too much stuff in my wallet? I loved that wallet since I first saw it... now still okay... but Im wishing for another 1 XD and I remember when I was small I wanted a set of colour pencils. the 48 in a set, got 2 rows and i can be folded. I still want it now. Cause i never had it :( dad only buy for sis, and I only good at colouring using colour pencil lols

I just got my lappy...I can't ask for another 1... dad got them for me... I was wishing to get a Mac, but since he get it without telling me, oh well :/ I wanted Mac because I want to play with the software inside huhu. I like editings and blablabla. Its really time consuming to do such a little stuff, but when you're done, you feel... good? I dont know how to describe the feeling. " the insanity of having thousands of possibility just to give a simple meaning and have the greatest satisfaction even its a short period of the whole cut."  she said.. Hmm...  I don't know anything about art... but I know what I like :)

I already know what I wanted in the future, I mean stuffs, like dreams. Example: house with those specifications.... I'm too lazy to write it out, its time consuming and its kinda complicated. Sometimes I'm really impressed about the brain, you can think so much of thing inside. XD

This is all whats on my mind now. My wishlist, I thought there's more, but I couldn't remember what was it. I keep forget it in a sudden. Oh well, I will re-update this post if I think of any stuff :P

I just know what I have to keep remind myself, not to be greedy, be satisfied with what I have. N Just to say that, its only my wishlist. WISHLIST. One facts about me, I dislike people to simply say stuffs I never do. Never say something that I never do or say or whatever. I feel like you're accusing me for doing something wrong. If I'm wrong in my sayings or something, I will admit if you are trying to correct me. But never said the thing I never did. I can't stand it. Just to be simple, I know what I did, you DON'T "change(say)" the facts and making rumors around. If I did something right, and you said I never do it, I'll get angry too. Usually I do something leaving the evidence behind. So no fake info or news. I will be honest. But don't trying to mess around. Don't simply talk, talk based on the facts and evidence :)

I wonder if you get me, lol I suck at expressing myself.

Kbye.

People

What kind of music do you like?
Who is the person you like?
I mean, its fine if its not me :/

I wonder what's not enough?
What, at the very least, is fine?
Even if i were replaced by someone else, no one would cared

What's your favorite movie?
What's your favorite word?
Is there someone you'd like to see now?
Well, its definitely not me, right? ><

:(

No, no, no future or the like
I won't, I won't, I won't have hope
Not here, Not here, no one is here
by my side
I want, I want, I want to laugh together
To notice, is all i want you to do
( No matter how hard i tried to overreach myself, I would always failed to get into your sight)

Who's the person you like?
Its definitely not me, Like that-
I was always giving up in selfishness
and hurt by my own conceit
I finally realized that as I've grown older
Hey, am I... am I too late?



我从来也没有想过
会有被“拆穿”的一天

你说啊　你以前就发现到了
haha .
You know i liked you,
It's just that i always lock myself in a smaller circle
So i only see both of you in my eyes
I only wish you both to be around
No one else

不願讓人看到真的我  生怕人會嫌我墮落
常常擔心會被人看透  只好層層包裹 退後又瑟縮
我把自己藏了起來 免得不斷受傷害   眼光閃爍尋找遮蓋 
我把自己藏了起來  心中卻深深期待  有一天我會遇見真愛

I always like things to stay how it was
Because I'm afraid sometimes it might change anything
I always liked you to whisper things into my ear
Because I like to hear the truths
I always liked how you can understand me so well
I said, you're always right
You said, GOD is.

I don't have much confidence in myself
Cause I'm ugly
Cause I'm not talented
Cause I'm nobody

I'll emo because I know
这已足够让我清醒
你们是不变的定律
I always have the concept that
选择这不变的定律　坚持
我一定被抛弃
Then I'll get the feeling I'm extra

I know that I can't change anything
I don't have friends who likely to stay around
I always see people, they have gangs,
I don't have.
I always see people, they go to canteen together,
I don't have.
I always see people , always be together
I don't have.
I always see people, always hanging out together,
I don't have.
I always see people, doing lots of other things with their friend,
I don't have.

I don't have it,
I never did it,
I'll never have it.

I guess I don't have to explain myself much about this
Even I don't, I know that you'll understand that
how important to me a friend is

You know I'll do whatever it takes to protect you from danger
You know I'll do anything for ya
I'll give you whatever you want, if you asked me

You know that day, I dreamed about you
( I often had dreams about you actually)
A guy with cap and black glasses
is trying to shoot you with a gun
I ran over, hug you and cover up all 3 shots for you
I feel glad that I'm the one who got shot not you lols
and then I remembered that I'm falling helplessly
I'm still holding your hand, you're arms actually
then you're holding me, nervously calling my name
Not letting me fall,
then i was in your arms already
and I don't remember whats next LOL
I just know that I won't let anything happen to you
even if its real

I don't like to see you get hurt
I don't like to see you in pain
I don't like to see you cry
Because when I see it, I feel them too
I'd like to replace you for your pain or the bad things that happened to you

Well, sometimes
You maybe forgot about me or
hurt me or anything else
I don't mind
You can do anything you want to me, because I love you this much, you see?

Cause you are so important to me
Cause you are more important than me, myself
Cause both of you are the only exception
Cause in your eyes, I'd really like to stay.....

I don't understand how you had replaced her, that's why I have both of you in my heart

One day both of you might leave me
"I never lose anything because I never had it"
I maybe mean nothing to you, but both of you are always that important to me

那天無意中遇上了你  看似偶然卻是天意
好像呼吸到愛的氣息  使我深深著迷 半信又半疑
我把自己藏了起來  你卻百般的擔待  向我敞開溫暖的胸懷
我把自己藏了起來  卻無力拒絕這愛  緊握你手再也不放開
我把自己藏了起來  藏在你的懷抱中  在你懷中再也不怕痛
我把自己藏了起來  藏在你的懷抱中  在你愛中海闊天空

God please hug me, let me hide in your arms
so I don't feel that hurt sometimes

Can I drive you home?

Can I crash into your life? 

在我眼中 你不曾失败过 :) 

Feelings

Desperate and so lonely, I've looked for you.
And even left behind all that I had ever longed for.
I let go everything of what i have possessed.
Cold winds scream through my ears like a banshee.
A freezing chill- A pain that still will forever haunt me.
My freezing body feel nothing but pain
My heart is filled with pain
I'm here, please get me out of here...
Tears fall like a rainstorm I barely see.
A twisted grin broken within. Am I going crazy?
Im here, its really painful.
Get me out of here, my prince.
And I wonder, why can't I even dream?


---The dreams seems to be fading away................................


心里挣扎！很难受！可是又不知道该怎么办！我觉得自己有时用太多感情，导致麻木..虽然很难受，但我一点也不想释放... It feels comfortable yet heartbreaking. 只因为喜欢折磨自己，把自己搞成这个鬼样....我也很想爱我自己，但我就是做不到！有谁不渴望被爱...有些人很享受他们的生活，有朋友，有爱人，可你成否想过，我什么也没有?!?!....而在这个世界上是如此的空虚....在这个世界上... 没有一个东西是属于我的......

谁知道未来会是怎样的风景？？？....

拍寫... 我也很困擾..... 

雖然喜歡你的微笑.. 很喜歡你天真燦爛的微笑...

可我害怕付出了真心 卻什麼都得不到.....

你從來都不知道 我對你有多好 就連命都可以不要！... 你說你其實早就知道 只是你不需

何必犯賤痛苦自找.... :'(

有時候你在身邊 有時候你會不見
那天聽你說愛我好多遍
那天你在身邊 而昨天你又不見
今天你說討厭我流淚

选择这不变的定律，坚持.... 一定被抛弃...
用情专一的结局　伤的都是我自己...
而想起我不完美，你一定会逃离我生命的范围.....
我只不过然你歇斯底里.......
和她在一起　你能快乐我高兴！

为了你 我选了坚持这不变的定律

因为一点也不想伤害你

因为疼你，宁愿你伤我不伤你

搞得我自己全身是伤

"You can do anything you want to me....

Because I love you this much, see?"

愛是幸福的消耗累得最值得
若愛你會累死　寧可放棄健康不看醫生
愛是深夜裡沒路牌的窄路
但如果你是黑暗　我寧可吹滅蠟燭而迷路

一点点痛的感觉加上我对你的思念~

你是我最想要得到的东西... 可惜在这个世界上 没有任何一样东西是属于我的~

被侵占所有还要笑着接受~

:'D

有时我宁愿伤到疯了痛到麻了也不愿找你 , 只因为害怕你的敷衍会再次把我杀死 :')

冷風吹在我的耳邊...　吹得讓我不能聽見!!...聽見你說過的誓言..　已經消失在這荒原....冷風吹皺一片水面..　喚醒沉睡著的時間..隱約看見你的容顏..　只是眼神已經改變..........

而此刻的心情。。 明明已经要收拾好了。。

却一再又一再的被你撕开。。。

心 一刀又一刀的被你刮

是你吗？ 还是我？？

我知道 选择这不变的定律 我一定被抛弃

我只不过让你歇斯底里

下雨了 想你了 可我却被你忘了

现在只有空气了冷漠的回应

就算爱你爱你爱你爱你可能你也不想听

拍写，我真的真的很困扰

我不会怪你 我怪我自己

从头到来也许你根本没把我看在眼里

而是我把你看得太重

I never lose because I never had....

想起我不完美 你一定会逃离我生命的范围 

思念好像一条很长的路

至于多余的我 会悄悄离开

好好过下去 好报答我手松开的心碎

閉上眼睛　我想著你　可是你卻不讓我靠近

多希望在這個季節裡　

還有你 時間就停止在這裡

I'm not what you want me to be, I'm sorry

我眼中 剩下空洞

也保持著一抹笑容

我会把我在你记忆里删除，然后再把自己消灭......

光著腳我一路奔跑

鮮血淚水一路狂飆                                            

我們走過了昨天 走不過今天... 一直一直等待著明天 你會出現..........

“小姐，你的笑容 掉了。”

“那你有捡到吗？”

:')

你不懂我说那些话的时候我的心有多痛 :)